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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
2:49 PM Oh my fuck. seriously, this is the first time I ever feel like this okay. Right now I have like no one to blame but myself. I know I been neglecting soo many people and all and I apologise. =( SORRY. I really am. I didn't know what it actually felt like to be neglected because I'm always the one ditching the other party for my o,so fucking selfish self. I really apologise for everything okay. and like now everyone busy and have their own stuff on to not even bother about me. see. this is what happen when you do it too many fucking times and I REALLY have no one to blame but for my selfish fucking self. I'LL CHANGE! I REALLY WILL! its just that I don't know whats wrong with me this year! I just don't like going out and rather spend the afternoon bitching on the phone or watch tv. perhaps thats why I'm getting rounder. the retribution i got for ditching my prettaye buds and girlfriends. ="( oh gosh. I want to cry out loud okay. slowly I realise I'm starting to drift with soo many people and its all my fault! =''( perhaps that why the once treasured friendship I had was now gone. just right before my eyes. thanks to me. It because I was selfish. pure selfish. all I think about was myself and never considering how others were to feel if i ditch them or not contact them for a period of time. oh gosh. typing out this post makes me feel like crying. just bursting out in tears and live in regrets. I hate this side of me and I really will change and make time for everyone okay! so please! just give me more time to change and make time for everyone okay? I'll really start improving. =) MY PROMISES!!! *GO TO CHURCH! so many people I miss talking to and stuff. how they make fun of me whine "I am Fat" and gossiping or just having fun bitch-ing about celebs. I miss how everyone use to tease on my naive thoughts and ways of doing things or just simply burst out in laughters at my actions. I SERIOUSLY MISS THE GOOD OLD TIMES. MAKE TIME FOR *BESTIE! I really have to catch up with you and then update one another. you know sometimes you say its because I'm busy and all thats why you don't know if I'm free but if you don't try at all thats what the use of me trying my very best to get us close again? So, can you also make time to try keeping me updated and not me always having to put in effort to think of stuff to talk to you? =) *MAINE! I know I know. this year we both are really busy with our own things but I really will try my best to call and update you. Sorry that you always have to be the one making time and plan outings for both of us and I have to be the bitch to cancel it last minute. SORRY okay. I PROMISE TO UPDATE YOU EVERY WEEK! and we'll have lunch or dinner everytime you're free. =) *BOEY! GOSH. Chicken Chop chicken chop... I keep saying soon and soon but I really am such an ass for making empty promises huh? =( SORRY. I'll call you up soon and both us can talk the night away and I'll hear every single word you say and not fall asleep halfway like I always do. =) *THE BEAUTS! SORRYSORRY A HUGE THOUSAND TIMES! x( I know that its like the infinity times you all hear me say sorry but I truly am. =( I make empty promises, ditch you guys and even more worse things but I hope you guys don't get piss at me okay. I LOVE YOU ALL SOO MUCH! I CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT MY BEAUTS! x( probably without you guys there to fill up my lonliness I'll just not be the same melissa anymore. I miss our cam-whoring sessions, sharon's crap actions and jokes, eileen and chin calling me 'fat ass', blah-ing and blah-ing to poor dawnie and she just quietly listen, Lin to talk and talk (but my mind always wonders away) and bitch-ing to nettie and rene! I miss every moment spending with you all! MY HOMIES! ARRANGE ARRANGE! another outing! I shall be the one planing it okay! so don't forget you got a holey moley, fat ass mel here okay! =D *VAL! FIRSTLY,I LOVE YOU! THE ONE WHOM STICK BY ME NO MATTER WHAT!!! TO HEAR ME SPEAK MY MIND OFF OR TALK AWAY MY SADNESS AND TROUBLES! MY CLUBBING CUM CAM-WHORED AT TOWN CUM BITCHING CUM SHOPPING CUM OGLING AT GUYS CUM SLEEPOVER BESTEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! the one I can rely 24/7 to never will pangseh me for any reason! always there to talk and go out with. she will never say 'no' to me and I REALLY LOVE YOU SO FOR THAT! =D thanks! Though I haven't been contacting you now but don't fret, in my heart theres only one VALENTINA CHUA THAT I'LL LOVE MY ENTIRE LIFE GENERATION! WE'LL CLUB SOON! WE'LL MEET SOON! WE'LL SHOP SOON! AND OF COURSE. OGLE AT GUYS! xD *JO! WE'LL ALWAYS BE ONE! =)) I miss the times we had together and after your Os, we'll just head town and chat our hearts away! I LOVE YOU! MY VERY PILLAR TO LEAN ON DURING JYM! THANKS A HUGE LOT! I miss talk and talk non-stop to you and you always just listen! =) thanks a huge biggie bunch! I MISS YOU! *JUN! I MISS TALKING TO YOU! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU M.I.A TO???!!! STUPID KUKU! never update me your love life. haha. okay. its also my fault for totally neglecting you for our supposed lunch and dinner! =( I'LL CALL YOU UP SOON! AND THEN WE CAN TALK AND TALK! =) misses* *NUISANCE! I bet you guys thought I'll miss you out right! NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS OKAY! I LOVE YOU ALL! even though now the group is slowly drifting or splitting up, we're till as one! The level's PUBLIC NUISANCE right?! we'll still be the same and then we shall all arrange to have steamboat and chat the night away with craps! =) *GANG! go out soon! my birthday ah! DON'T FORGET THE TREAT! =D AND THE LIST JUST GO ON AND ON!I have soo many people to thanks and write down but it'll probably take years to blog out why I thank god for such wonderful and beautiful people! BUT! it doesn't mean that if I don't blog you out here means I don't give a shit about you. THATS NOT TRUE!!! TO WHOMEVER I NEVER BLOG OUT DUE TO LONG LIST, CALL ME UP! I PROMISE TO HEAR YOU OUT AND GO OUT WITH YOUU!!! =D I HEART YOU ALL! ps. I feel so much better blogging all my frustrations out. =) XOXO to one and all. YOU ARE LOVE BY ME. ((: I apologise for the vulgarities mention in this post. please forgive me for using such harsh words. I'll try to be more caution in what i say okay. =D |
